


I'll Wait

by Eiiri



Category: Brokeback Mountain (2005)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Grief/Mourning, Jack's an angel? Or Ennis is dreaming, Lost Love, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-17
Updated: 2014-11-17
Packaged: 2018-02-25 19:10:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2632967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eiiri/pseuds/Eiiri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While visiting Jack's grave, Ennis has a heart to heart with the man he loved and lost. It doesn't matter if it was just a dream.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Wait

Jack's mother had told Ennis he could visit any time, but he never had, so, starting in October three years later, she had starting sending him cards and letters every month inviting him up for each holiday until Ennis finally agreed to come visit for the Fourth of July, 1987. It was now the sixth and Ennis had had about as much as he could stand of John Twist—for that matter, John had had more than enough of Ennis, too. Jack's mother saw Ennis to his truck. "Now, I've told you before, you come back an' visit just whenever."

"I know ma'am, even so you shouldn't count on seein' too mucha me. I really just don't travel all that much."

Sue shook her head and laughed softly. "From what I heard you'll travel plenty for the right reasons."

Ennis half shrugged. Sue patted his arm in a warm, motherly way. After a bit, Ennis took a deep breath. "Hey, I was thinking on my way outta here I might stop an' see 'im, so could you tell me where—" He faltered.

"Where he's buried?"

"Yeah."

Sue nodded and squeezed his shoulder. "Just off the main road on the south side of town there's a little church—you probably passed it on your way here. There's gonna be a green banner on the sign at the roadside. There's a little graveyard out behind the church, part of it's fenced in but that gate is never locked. That's where he is."

"Thank you," Ennis said quietly.

"I'm sure he'll be glad you came by. Have a safe trip home."

Ennis nodded, got in his truck, and left.

The little church was easy enough to find and, at half past one on a Monday, it was deserted. Ennis parked, made his way around to the back of the church, and let himself into the fenced in part of the graveyard. There was Jack's stone, one corner in the shadow thrown by some relative's monument, carved with the full name nobody called him by. Ennis sat with one shoulder against the stone and traced the letters with his finger. When he was young, he'd sit at his mother's grave the same way, tracing the letters and talking to her until he sister would come find him and make him come home. He'd talked to his mother more then than he had when she was alive. Ennis had talked to Jack when he was alive more than he'd talked to anybody. Now he had nothing to say.

He shifted so his back was to the sun-warmed stone, closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. He'd taken off work until Thursday and there was nobody home to miss him so he figured it didn't much matter how long he stayed.

After some time, Ennis wasn't sure how long, he heard a soft crunch in the gravel behind him as someone knelt on the other side of the stone then he felt a pair of strong arms on his shoulders, a rough hand on his cheek, and he smelled Jack. His eyes flew open and he tried to turn around but the arms pinned him to the stone. "Jack?"

"Shush." The hand that had been on his cheek set aside Ennis's hat and pet his hair. It sure sounded like Jack.

"Jack, I—"

"Did I not just tell you to shush?" It was definitely Jack. He kissed Ennis's hair.

"What is going on? And what are you doing?" Ennis glanced around nervously, noncommittally trying to shrug Jack off.

"Relax. You're asleep, Ennis; you're dreaming. Nobody can see me."

"I've never had a dream tell me I'm dreaming, least of all a dream of you."

"Guess I'm not a normal dream then." Jack leaned far enough over his own gravestone to rest his chin on Ennis's shoulder. "Dream about me a lot?"

Cautiously, Ennis reached up to rub the checked-sleeved arm draped across his chest. "All the time." He looked down and swallowed then was quiet a minute. "You a ghost?"

"Dunno. Might be. It's strange, I'm not really sure what I am or where I've been since I've been gone."

"I miss you." A single tear fell on the back of Jack's hand.

"I know."

Ennis took a deep breath. "I love you."

"I know." Jack stood, taking Ennis's hand as he did, and walked around to the other side of the stone without letting go. He knelt half in front of, half on top of Ennis. "Love you too." He kissed him. When he pulled away, there were tears rolling down Ennis's face, unbidden but unrestrained.

"You look so young."

"You aren't that old."

"Will you visit me again?"

"I don't think I can, friend." Jack stroked Ennis's cheek with one thumb, brushing away a couple of tears.

"Why not?"

"Because I'm gone."

"But you're here right now." Ennis sounded almost desperate.

"This is the exception." He took Ennis's face in both his hands. "C'mon, cowboy, you've made it four years without me alright."

"That's as long as I ever been without you since I met you and I ain't been alright."

Jack shrugged on shoulder. "Seem alright to me."

"Jack."

"You're gonna be okay, I know you are. You're strong. Stronger than I am."

"No I'm not." Ennis shook his head. "Not really. I could never face us, what we had—I was too scared. You weren't."

"No, I wasn't. And look where that got me." Jack smacked the gravestone with the palm of his hand. Ennis looked up at him, startled. Jack shook his head. "You know full well I didn't die in an accident. Exactly what you were always scared was gonna happen, that's exactly what happened. I was too stupid to be scared enough to keep my sorry ass outta trouble."

"And I was too scared to stick around an' protect you."

Jack sighed. "Listen, neither a us is really at fault. An' it wouldn't matter if we were; that's all passed. You have plenty going on now. One a your girls already married, other one 'bout to be. Gonna be a grandpa pretty soon, hm?"

Ennis nodded. "February."

"That's what I thought." Jack smiled. "You take your time. I'll wait for you."

"You promise?"

"I promise." Jack kissed his forehead.

Ennis woke suddenly. A gray tabby cat was staring at him, swishing its tail. He ignored it and looked at the sky. Judging by the sun, about an hour had passed. He glanced at his watch; it agreed with the sun. In a bit of a daze, he got to his feet, dusted himself off, and turned to look at the stone. He stood there a long minute then set his hand on the top of it. "Thank you."


End file.
